The Joker and the Thief and the Knight
by darkfae13x13
Summary: What happens when the Joker and the Dark Knight fall in love with the same woman? Plenty of Smut. Joker/Oc Batman/Oc
1. The Clown Prince of Crime

**The ****Joker**** and the ****Thief**** and the ****Knight**

Post TDK

_Chapter 1: The Clown Prince of Crime_

Imagine, if you will, a room and not just any room but a room decorated completely in green and purple. The walls, the sheets, the pillows, the rugs; all purple and green hues. A large bed with bed sheets the same color scheme stated above presses up against a green and purple striped wall and sheer green and purple curtains adorn the windows, closed tight just in case of super-human passers-by that might by chance fly up to the 45th floor and take a peek. All necessary precautions were taken. Arkham Asylum was a place that no man should ever have to visit once never mind twice. Spending another year at the asylum simply did not fit into the Joker's plans. And he was a man with a plan if nothing else.

Suddenly, the peace and quiet of the room is disturbed when a purple gloved hand appears around the doorjamb and throws the door open wide exposes the gruesome and haunting visage of the Joker's scarred complexion. A knife rested comfortably in his right and remained there as he reached up his hand to brush a stray strand of his green locks out of his pale face. A pink tongue darted out from behind his ruby red lips and just quickly disappeared. His eyes, feral and dark, darted across the room, examining everything. Once he was satisfied that nothing was out of place he stepped inside.

"Bring her on in, boys." He said, putting unnecessary emphasis on his words. Several men with clown masks firmly affixed to their faces entered the room dragging a girl in with them. She lay limp in their arms and her red hair obscured any view of her face. "Just ahh, drop her off on the bed and ahh, skedaddle. Get my drif_t_?" The Joker said with a wink as he licked his lips again. The clowns carelessly tossed the girl onto the bed and watched as her limp form bounced on the mattress. The Joker chuckled and brushed another lock of green, greasy hair from his face using the tip of the blade he held in his hand. He didn't even bother to wait for audible click of the door closing shut before he started to walk towards the bed. He twitched almost nervously as he did so and that pink tongue of his darted out again and again to moisten his lips.

The red-head girl stirred on the bed and moaned with pain as the Joker stalked closer until finally reaching the bed. He pulled off his purple suit jacket and dropped it without heed onto the purple plush carpet. "Sshshshshshsh." He crooned as the girl moaned again. He stroked her cheek with his gloved hand and gently cradled her head in his lap while crooning to her in soft, dulcet tones unexpected from a psychotic criminal of his caliber. When the girl finally awoke she found herself staring up into the horrifying face of the Clown Prince of Crime. She opened her mouth wide as if to scream but instead only yawned and rubbed the back of her head with a grimace.

"Jesus, Joker. You had me scared for a minute there. I thought you had left to me to rob the damn bank all by myself." She said with a sly grin and she sat up carefully and settled herself onto the Prince's lap.

'Joker' chuckled and stroked the girl's hair out of her face. "Aw come now, a little faith here please. Daddy will take care of ya." He kissed her forehead and buried his painted face into her hair, inhaling her scent. "Not a bad idea though, little girl. Might be fun to ahhh, see how ya do on your own." He pulled his face away leaving sticky trails of white and black paint in the girl's hair. She made a face and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Aaw J, you got all your paint in my hair." She said with a pout. "Can't you just take it off? You're not working and we're all alone." She said, lowering her voice to a rough whisper. She reached up, intending to wipe the paint away from his paint but was immediately brought to a halt when a gloved hand slapped her across the face hard, leaving her breathless and aroused from the pain.

"I will no_t_," The Joker put particular emphasis on the last word before continuing. "take it off. So, you're just 'gonna have to suck it up and deal with it girly. Got a problem? Too bad." He said, leering at her. Despite the perpetual grin on his face the Joker was no longer smiling. When he didn't receive an answer the Joker grabbed the girl by the neck and threw her down against the bed and straddled her. His 'victim' struggled to put a terrified look on her face and fought feebly against him. _I have to make this good for him,_ she thought, _this is for him. _

The Joker pressed his red-stained lips against the girl's own and explored her mouth with his tongue; it darted in and out of her mouth and stroked and probed the hidden caverns within. His teeth nipped at her lower lip and he slowly dragged his mouth away from hers and down the arch of her neck leaving a smear of red in his wake. He sucked and teased at the skin of her neck and the girl struggled to hold back a moan. A fierce growl erupted from the Joker's throat as he ripped her shirt away from her body. Still her bra remained in his way. With one quick slice of his blade the bra fell to the floor leaving the girl's breasts exposed. His gloves were off now as he gently traced the knife across her pale skin before viciously carving his initial into her skin. A sharp cry of pain passed the girl's lips but soon turned to ecstasy when her lover bent his head and lapped up the blood with his tongue. She moaned and clutched tightly at the Joker's shoulders as he chuckled into her skin and continued to suck and tease at her skin, slowly working his way towards her breasts.

Finally, his painted lips closed over her nipple and the girl bucked her hips with the pleasure, pressing her womanly parts up against the growing bulge in his pants. Another growl emanated from deep within the Joker's chest and he bit down hard, his mouth still covering the tight bud of her nipple. Again she cried out and dug her fingers deep into his shoulders. She frantically struggled to pull away the fabric that covered his skin and first ripped off his vest and then his shirt revealing his bare chest and arms. His clothing, reeking of gasoline and sweat, floated gently to the floor and the girl stared mesmerized at the sight of the Prince's slightly furred chest. She ran her fingers gently through the curly blonde wisps of hair that decorated his chest and rained kisses onto his skin, torturing him with the same attentions he had been giving her. Just as her mouth closed over his nipple he pushed her back down against the bed and held her there in his firm grip. She grinned and arched her back again to press her hips up against his. The Joker growled and removed one hand to unbutton her jeans, rip off her panties and fling both the garments aside.

The girl wriggled one hand free from his grip and roughly pulled down the zipper of his pants before pulling them down along with his boxers as far as she could. The Joker kicked off the rest of his clothes and released her other hand in order to roam the rest of her body. He kissed her stomach and squeezed the skin at her hips. When he straightened up to move to a more comfortable position the girl sat up as well and slipped his now completely erect cock into her mouth. She could feel his hand dig into her back as she flicked her tongue over the tip of his penis and then ran it all the way down his shaft. She sucked hard on his length and tasted his pre-cum in her mouth, salty and thick. His hands roughly pushed her away and back down against the bed. The girl licked her lips just before the Joker's hand came back down on her breasts, squeezing and pinching at her nipples. She moaned and his mouth covered hers again, his tongue outlining her lips and his teeth nipping at her own tongue. She could feel his finger start to probe inside her and she moaned against his mouth, her breath tickling his skin. He pushed one finger into her, probing her soft folds. Just as she was about to climax he removed his finger and shoved his cock into her right up to the hilt.

She screamed with pleasure as he continued to thrust deep into her. She could feel his cock quivering inside of her and burst with the pleasure of it, the Joker exploded along with her; his sticky, hot cum coating her insides and making her melt. He collapsed on top of her and entangled his fingers into her hair. "Now, didn't I say Daddy would always take care of ya?"


	2. Bruce Wayne's Despair

_Chapter 2: The Dark Knight_

Bruce Wayne sat slumped in an easy chair in front of an over-large fireplace. The flames crackled and popped as it warmed the multi-millionaire right down to his toes. But that also could have been the whiskey he was drinking by the bottle. At 38,000 dollars a pop it was the best whiskey available. To the rest of the world the 60-year old Macallan Whiskey was sold out, but Bruce Wayne wasn't the rest of the world and the usual restrictions placed on the general public simply didn't apply to him. At this moment Bruce wasn't thinking about how much the whiskey he was drinking cost. The only thing on his mind was the Joker. He simply couldn't believe that the clown had escaped from Arkham; even if he did have the help of one of the nurses it still shouldn't have been possible.

As he took another sip of whiskey he heard the main door of Wayne Manor being opened and the voice of Alfred as he welcomed the visitor. "Why, hello Miss Hartford, so good to see you again. Bruce is in the main living room drinking the night away. Good thing you're here….he could use some good cheering up."

Bruce heard the dainty footsteps echoing down the hall towards him, but still refused to sit up. At this point he simply didn't care about anything. Rachel's killer was back on the streets and it was all he could do not to jump off the nearest building _without _his suit. He was so preoccupied wallowing in his own despair and misery that he was startled when two slender arms snaked around his neck even though he should have seen it coming. His body jerked in his chair and his fingers released their hold on the whiskey bottle. The arms disappeared and he could hear the sound of heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such an awful waste of good drink." The words came from a tall, redheaded woman dressed in a short black leather overcoat appeared in front of him that had walked around from behind the easy chair Bruce was sitting in to stand in front of him. His gaze briefly flitted to her face before returning to the task of studying the floor. "Leave me alone Gwen." He said, as he massaged his now aching temples.

Gwendolyn Hartford knelt, careful to avoid the broken glass and spilled liquid, and softly placed a hand under his chin so that he was forced to look at her. "Bruce darling, I know the Joker's escape from Arkham has been hard for you to take. It brings back old, painful memories. I understand pain. We can get through this together." She stroked his cheek as she spoke.

"You know nothing of pain." Bruce growled out words and slapped Gwen's hand away. He stood up and his legs carried him over to the hearth where he leaned against the mantle and stared down into the flickering, orange ribbons. Gwen frowned and straightened up. Bruce could heard the click-clack of her heels against the hardwood as she followed his whiskey soaked footsteps to where he was standing in front of the fireplace. She kissed his bare arm and drew circles on his chest. "Come to bed with me darling and forget about all this." She said, kissing him again but on his lips this time, harder and more passionate.

Bruce immediately stiffened. "I will never forget." He hissed.

Ignoring this statement Gwen's fingers slowly crept to the zipper on Bruce's designer jeans. The muffled sound of a zipper being undone was heard and Gwen's small hand slid into the small opening. Gently, she squeezed his flaccid penis and felt it come alive in her hand. Bruce never had been one to have trouble 'getting it up' after drinking heavily. With difficulty Bruce pulled away and turned around to face her. His eyes smoldered with unchecked desire and Gwen felt as if he could see all the way into her soul. His hand grabbed hold of her hips and roughly he pulled her up against him. His lips crashed down on to hers and Gwen reached up her hands to cradle the back of his head. His tongue explored the inside of her mouth and she could taste the whiskey he'd been drinking. She nipped his lip with her teeth and chuckled when she heard a low groan echo from deep in his chest.

Bruce broke the kiss and simply stared at her while she licked the taste of him off her lips. She flicks her eyes upwards. "Shall we move this party upstairs then?" She asked while she stroked the back of his head. He didn't even bother answering her before sweeping her off her feet and into his arms. Gwen tightened her grip around his neck and felt his lips brush against her forehead as he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom. No words were necessary at this point.  
Gently he laid her down on the silken sheets of his bed and climbed up after her. It was only a matter of minutes before both of their clothes fell to the floor, forgotten in their passion. Bruce squeezed her breasts as he sucked on the skin at her neck, leaving a bruise that would last several days. As he plunged his rigid cock inside her Gwen's nails bit into the skin of his back and she gasped. He thrusted hard and fast and Gwen couldn't help but arch her back and grind her hips against his as she struggled to bring him deeper inside her. They both came together with moans and screams of pleasure before collapsing with exhaustion onto the silken sheets of Bruce's bed. Bruce fell asleep almost immediately afterwards but Gwen remained awake for at least an hour. She was exhausted, every day she had to deal with the Joker and Bruce was a trial. However, there was simply too much going on in her brain for her to be able to fall asleep. So, for an hour or two she remained awake with Bruce's head on her chest and thought about the mess that she had gotten herself into.


	3. Fear

_Chapter 3: Fear _

Gwen's heart-pounded with a rhythmic sort of beat as she struggled to reload the Beretta she held in the palm of her hand. She shoved in the clip and took aim around the corner. After finding her target she steadied her hands and focused her vision so that her sight narrowed strictly to target. She squeezed the trigger with one delicately boned finger and as the bullet shot forth from the mouth of the gun it barely jumped backwards in her hands.

Even as the bullet passed the head of her victim and his skull exploded with the force of the blast she remained where she stood, a sheen of perspiration dampening her clothes and rivulets of sweat dripping from her forehead. This was the worst part of being in the Joker's little gang. The kill. While the Joker treasured the thrill of it Gwen most certainly did _not._ She would do whatever her lover asked but she would never enjoy it.

Once upon a time she had a life that didn't involve the joker. She had a normal life and a family and a job that didn't require taking the life of another one of her coworkers. The Joker was incredibly paranoid and was constantly finding reasons why one of his clowns was deserving of death. Gwen was often the messenger that delivered the bad new to those that fell in his disfavor.

Not that Gwen was complaining. She had chosen to live like this and she would deal with it. As long as the Joker never found out about her affair with Bruce Wayne AKA Batman and vice versa she would be ok. Yes, she knew all about Brucey's little secret. She had always known. It really wasn't that hard to figure out once you really got to know him. Not even the Joker knew Batman's identity and Gwen was never going to tell him. She held some small joy in her heart whenever she listened to the Joker obsess over Batman's identity. It was kind of funny, really.

But enough about all that. Back to the scene at hand. Gwen had unfrozen herself and had just shoved the small gun into the holster at her hip when a purple gloved hand squeezed her shoulder, hard. Gwen froze again. She couldn't help it. He did that to her.

"Not bad, Gwenny….not bad at all…" The Joker said with a laugh. "If only I could get you to participate in-"

"No." She didn't even let him finish his sentence before replying. She had never and would never enter his little torture lab and aid him in his sick tortures.

His hand squeezed her shoulder tighter, a warning. "Alright no need to get _frisky._" He said with a slight chuckle. "Let's go on back home then. Be a good kitty and follow daddy home." The psychotic laugh that was one of the Joker's trademarks echoed all around. There was no escaping the sound. There was no escaping him.

Gwen took a deep breath and turned on her heel to follow him around the corner and into his clown car. That's figurative you understand, the Joker doesn't really drive around in one of the tiny clown cars.

The Joker clambered into a nondescript van that was his getaway vehicle and offered a hand to help Gwen up. She raised a brow in response before putting her own dainty hand into his large gloved one.

"Very gentlemanly today aren't we?" She said as she stepped into the vehicle. As soon as the door had closed behind her and they were away from prying eyes, not that the joker really cared if anyone saw them together, he roughly pulled her up against him and a low growl came from somewhere deep in his chest. A feral sound that Gwen didn't think could possibly be emitted by a human being. But then again, the Joker wasn't really human, was he? He was something else….something beyond the rules of humanity.

His gloved fingers ran through her hair and wrapped around a fistful of it before pulling on the locks, hard. Tears sprang to Gwen's eyes from the pain but at the same time she reveled in it. No one else could make her feel this way. No one else could make her feel pain and pleasure at the same time and no other person gave her the dangerous thrill that this….clown….gave her. That was why she stayed.

She shivered and wrapped her arms about the Joker's waist while resting her head against his muscular chest and just breathing in his musk. He was the only one that could pull off the perfume of gasoline and sweat. She felt his lips touch the top of her head, smearing red paint on her skin and inside her head, she grimaced.

It was obvious that he had some kind of feelings for her and after all that he had put her through she couldn't help but feel bad for him…just a little bit. She really held no feelings of that sort for him. She stayed because he took care of her, he treated her well (most of the time) and he made her feel _so good. _

They broke apart as soon as the vans engine stopped rumbling. They had arrived at their hideout, an abandoned warehouse in the Narrows. Most of the policemen that made round here were already dirty. There wasn't much reason to worry. Everyone feared the Joker.

After exiting the van, Joker grabbed hold of Gwen's hand and dragged her through the door and up the rickety staircase, in the general direction of their bedroom. "Hurry it up, _baby cakes_, Daddy's _hungry."_ He laughed maniacally in such a way that made Gwen nervous. Nothing good ever came from these moods. Except maybe sex but she really didn't take that into account.

After dragging her through the threshold of the bedroom they shared together, the Joker slammed the door shut and Gwen found herself backing up against the wall, away from the menacing man in front of her. These moods of his were dangerous. She swallowed hard as the Joker let loose a growl and stalked toward her like a lion after an antelope. He licked his lips and soon had her pinned against the wall with his lips on hers, his tongue tasting and exploring her boring. She struggled against his passionate assault but in the end she knew it would be useless. It just felt _too good._ She could already feel one of his hands creeping under her shirt to roughly squeeze her left breast; eliciting a slight gasp from her as he did so. Her breathing was already becoming shallow and fast while he continued on to pinch at her nipple with his fingernails. Goddamnit, but she liked it rough and if there was one thing the Joker was good at it was playing rough.

His lips dragged away from her mouth and left a trail of red as he brushed them down her neck and onto the skin of her breast. Her shirt was shredded beyond repair. With all of the distractions coming from her lover, she didn't even notice.

Joker brushed the torn remnants of her shirt aside and she felt his hands fumbling with the button on her jeans. She relieved him of the chore and unbuttoned them herself. He did the rest. Her jeans joined what was left of her shirt on the floor. Gwen gave no thought to her discarded clothing. All of her attention was focused on _him, the Joker._ His lips were gradually descended down along her stomach and his finger nails were biting into her nipples, drawing blood and pleasure. His tongue reached her clitoris and slowly he sucked and teased at her inner folds with his lips, his tongue, and his teeth. Gwen was writhing, about to climax when he stopped.

Gwen looked up and reached out her arms to draw him back closer to her and just as she had her hands on his back and was pulling him back to her she felt him plunge his stick cock into her. She cried out with the sudden pleasure and came right then and there. The Joker just looked her with a half-skeptical, half-annoyed sort of smile.

"Kitty have a bad day…?" he asked without stopping his thrusts. His voice was rough with gratification as he climaxed inside her. His doing so brought Gwen to dazzling heights once again and she came soon after him. The Joker collapsed on top of her and Gwen gently ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his head.

"If it was a bad day to begin with, everything's fine now…" She whispered as they both drifted off sleep. Her last thought as blackness gripped her was that she was most definitely going to regret this in the morning.


	4. Sex, Pain, Pleasure

**Author's Note: **Reviews PLEASE or maybe I won't write another word. :p JK I would never do that. But seriously guys. R&R

**Chapter 4**

_Sex, Pain, Pleasure_

Gwen's first thought when she woke up the next morning was that she had been right. She regretted everything she had done the night before, from shooting the lobbyist to sleeping with the Joker, her prince of chaos. The sex had been wonderful as always but she knew that the time had come for her to leave and move on. She was tired of doing all of the Joker's dirty work and having to watch her back wherever she went. She was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. This life was going to get her killed.

Gwen rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stretched, feeling around on the Joker's side of the bed, searching for him. He was gone. Not surprising, really. He rarely slept through the night. He was always up, pacing and plotting. Plotting the death of some politician or the corruption of a police officer in Jim Gordon's unit. The Joker had no spies left in the commissioner's squad after Harvey Dent had lost it and killed them all. Not that the Joker was worried about this. He never worried about anything. After all he was the Clown Prince of Crime and Chaos. Chaos. To cause chaos in Gotham you didn't need spies. All you needed was a little creativity and the Joker had plenty of that.

The Joker's mistress climbed out of his bed and starting looking for something to wear. Her clothes were completely ruined from last night and she had to work today. She sighed with annoyance before she saw the suit that was hanging up in the closet, a woman's suit. Gwen allowed herself a small smile. She would make sure that this would be the last thing the Joker ever gave her. After today she would not come back to him. Not even for a quick romp under the covers. She was beginning to fall for Bruce Wayne and cheating on a multi-billionaire, not to mention Batman, was not a good idea. She was tired of explaining away the scars and bruises the Joker left her with. Everything would be so much less complicated after she left him.

As quickly as she was able, Gwen dressed herself in the suit the Joker had left for her, put on the pair of heels she had worn the previous night and then went into the bathroom to fix her hair and put on makeup. She ran a brush through her hair a couple times; just enough to rid it of snarls and then pulled her hair back into a loose bun. After smoothing away several runaway strands of black hair she rummaged through her purse, searching for makeup. She quickly smudged on some eyeliner, mascara and shadow before lining her lips with a clear gloss. After smacking her lips together several times and checking her appearance in the mirror she decided she was presentable. She slung her purse over one shoulder and with her heels clacking against the tile she left the room.

She should have known it would be as easy as just walking out the door. She should have known she couldn't avoid him. As she left her bedroom she was searching through her purse for her keys and as a result she wasn't paying attention to what was right in front of her. She bumped into something hard and muscular that reeked of gasoline and sweat. L'eau de Joker. It was his own personal cologne.

Gwen wrinkled her small nose and looked up. His dark eyes burned with lust and anger. _Just lovely….exactly what I need right now._ The Joker was horny and here she was completely helpless. She couldn't resist him even if she wanted too.

"And-a where do you think you're goin' dollface?" He ran his purple glove hand over her cheek and through her hair, ruining her bun.

"Nowhere apparently." Gwen muttered.

His hand came out of nowhere as he grabbed her by the throat and flung her with ease up against the wall. "What was that dear? I don't think I heard you!" He growled as he pushed his hard, hot body against her.

Gwen couldn't help it. She moaned and not from fear or pain. She was enjoying what the Joker was doing to her. He knew that too. He knew exactly what made her hot, what made her wet.

"Fuck, Joker, not now…I-I have to go to work." She tried pushing him away but in the end she knew it was useless. He would get what he wanted whether she fought him or not.

The Joker chuckled, his mouth on her throat, his teeth nipping at the skin of her neck and her earlobes. Gwen could feel herself melting. A soft sigh escaped her lips and he growled.

"Bend over." He commanded his voice low and harsh.

She didn't even have time to obey before he forced her around and pushed up her skirt exposing her bare ass. "No panties today?" The Joker chuckled and Gwen could hear the sound of a zipper as he undid his pants. The Joker's cock sprang forth from his pants, hard and erect.

Gwen felt the jokers hand push her forward and she fell against the wall, her palms flat against the hard cement. His lips were on her neck again and she could feel his greasepaint smearing all over her skin. She bit her lip and held back a shiver of pleasure as she felt his hardness rubbing against her ass and thighs. Already she could feel the warm, sticky precum on her skin and she quietly moaned. She heard the joker chuckle and his breath tickled her skin.

When he finally put in, he did it slowly, in order to prolong the torture. Gwen gasped when she felt his hot shaft enter her and her fingernails scratched the wall as she forced her hands into fists. Once he was all the way inside of her the joker started to pump into her so hard and fast that Gwen was flat against the wall by the time he'd finished and her body was still twitching from the sheer force of her orgasm.

Joker stepped away and zipped his pants back up, leaving Gwen to crumple onto the floor, completely devoid of strength. He started to walk away but then stopped and walked back towards Gwen. He kneeled down in front of her and his switchblade popped up in front of her eyes. He grabbed her face with one hand and said, "You are MINE. Hear that Gwenny dear? YOU ARE MINE!" In one quick motion he sliced the knife across her face and with the other hand that still held her face he slammed her head into the wall hard enough to make the noise echo throughout the warehouse.

Her blood was everywhere. It dripped down from the cut on her face into her eyes and her mouth. The hair on the back of her head was already matted with the red stuff leaking out of the crack in her skull. Her once white blouse was now stained red, from a mixture of blood and the joker's facepaint.

Gwen spit out a mouthful of blood and wiped her sleeve across her eyes before swearing violently. The Prince of Chaos was already long gone but she screamed and hollered anyway. "Fuck you, Joker!" She yelled as she struggled to stand. The world spun before her eyes and she began to feel sick. She wiped more of the blood from her eyes and stumbled out the door, grabbing her car keys off the table as she went.

When she reached the hallway, she stopped and threw up on the cement floor. After wiping her mouth on her sleeve she continued on her way. She wasn't coming back after this. Fuck the Joker and his little games, she was done. She spat out another mouthful of bile and blood as she exited the building. The few passersby stared at her but she didn't care. Let them stare. She walked along the sidewalk, making her way to her car when she lost her footing and tripped. She felt someone try to catch her but she went down anyway. Her skull bounced off the pavement and her vision went black. She head someone ask her if she was ok and felt like saying "do I look ok to you, you little fucker?" Instead she managed to mumble something along the lines of call 911 before she completely conked out.


	5. Guilt, Secrets and Cheesy Bacon Fries

**Author's Note: **I know what you're thinking. Finally an update. I'm sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER. I've been super busy and just never seemed to have the time. Buuuut, if you send me some more reviews I might be inclined to update more often. :) Just a suggestion.

gamergirllive: Thanks for the review! Mucho appreciated! I can't say for sure yet who she'll end up with but we'll see. :p

lissa rain: Yay, review! Your comment made me feel really good about my writing. Thank you. :) Unfortunately this chapter isn't so lemony but that will come again soon.

stephaniekay00: I'm glad you liked that chapter! I'm happy to be continuing with this story as well.

IsabellaSwanStarling: The Joker is a pretty mean guy and will only get meaner. Sorry it took so long to update!

Jokersgirl666: Glad you like it! I'm definitely continuing with it so keep reading!

Special thanks to everyone that added my story to their story alerts!

-The-Kiwi-Lover

-Wishing for Dreams

-Lost Blonde

-Lyn Harkeran

MORE REVIEWS PLEASE! :D

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. All characters and such belong to DC Comics except Gwen. She's mine. :)

**Chapter 5**

_Guilt, Secrets and Cheesy Bacon Fries_

The hospital lights were too bright, too white and they made Gwen's head ache terribly. She remembered mostly everything. She could recall the abuse and the pleasure the Joker had given her. She remembered passing out somewhere on the sidewalk but she couldn't figure out how exactly she'd ended up in the hospital. She had vague recollection of a rather speedy and bumpy ride in an ambulance but whenever she tried to recollect anything else her head started to throb and her vision fuzzy with the effort. So, she gave up on that. Somebody would be kind enough to tell her all that had occurred with thrilling, exaggerated detail whether she asked for it or not. During the first few hours of her stay she tried to keep her eyes closed and her mouth shut as much as possible. However, she was forced to acknowledge Bruce's presence when he sat down at her bedside.

"You don't have to pretend to be asleep anymore. Its just me."

Gwen opened one eye to look at him and then closed it again. He looked worn, haggard and incredibly stressed. His suit was wrinkled and his hair was messy. He had been out playing superhero again. Yes, Gwen had put all the pieces together, but you already knew that. It had been easy too guess once you started seriously dating the guy. He really didn't try hard enough to hide it. It was obvious that Alfred knew and did everything he could to help. It would be nice if Bruce would grow some fucking balls and get some therapy for his trust issues so she could stop pretending to believe all his lies about why he was so tired all the time.

"You should get some sleep." Gwen said with a sigh. Her eyes still remained firmly closed and she stayed almost perfectly still. The only movement that betrayed this was her lips as she spoke and the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

"I got plenty of sleep. I'm fine."

Gwen shot up in bed so suddenly that Bruce almost fell backwards out of his chair and the heart monitor next to her beeped. "You fucking liar. You didn't sleep at all. You didn't even come home last night did you?" Bruce just stared at her with his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide and his hands gripping the sides of the chair so tight that his knuckles were turning white. He seemed to be terrified of falling out of the chair he was sitting in. Gwen's eyes blazed with fury and she glared back at him for a minute before she relaxed back into bed. That quick outburst had already exhausted her in her weakened condition. "You don't have to to tell me what you go out to do every night but don't lie to me."

Bruce's body relaxed and he chuckled. Gwen narrowed her eyes. "What are you giggling about?"

He cleared his throat. "I do not giggle. Teenage girls giggle. I, however, do not."

"Fine, _chuckling_, what were you chuckling about Master Wayne?" Gwen said in her most serious and hoity-toity voice she could muster.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Will you just fucking tell me already?" She yelled, tossing a pillow at him which he dodged with a cheeky grin.

"I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it from you for very long." Bruce said, picking up her hand and kissing her knuckles. "How long have you known?" His words were muffled against Gwen's skin as he kissed his way up her arm. She squirmed and pulled her arm away.

"I've always known. You really should be more careful."

Bruce frowned and then shrugged. "I can trust you."

The smile Gwen gave him was weak. "You really believe that?" At this moment she felt so incredibly guilty that she was in physical pain, although, that pain could also be from the beating she'd taking earlier that day. She knew that this love affair she had going with the Joker was dangerous and she had to give it up soon. No, not soon, she was giving it up _now._ There was no way she was going 'back after this. It didn't help that Bruce had picked up her hand again and was brushing his lips over her fingers, knuckles and her palm. She bit her lip hard to try and release some of the frustration she was feeling.

"Of course I do, wholeheartedly. I trust you as much as I trust Alfred." Bruce trusted Alfred with absolutely everything, even his life. This was a big step and Gwen felt like she was going to start with the waterworks soon but she refused to give in to her silly female emotions. She blinked a few times to rid herself of tears.

"Move a bit closer will you?"

Bruce still had his lips pressed to her hand so his reply was almost unintelligible and she could feel his words vibrating against her skin. She shivered and Bruce looked up, leaned closer and whispered, "cold?"

"I am the very opposite of cold." Gwen said, she had leaned in just enough so that her lips were on his. It wasn't exactly a kiss, both of their lips were just gently pressing against the other's. Her words vibrated on his lips the same way his had tickled the skin of her arm. Bruce let out a long, low sigh and kissed her gently. It was the very first moment that he had no thoughts of Rachel, at this moment his mind thought only of Gwen and he realized that he was falling in love with her. The realization was so sudden, so shocking, that he nearly blurted it out loud. He whispered something that Gwen couldn't make out.

"What was that?" She asked, her forehead leaning on his and her fingers struggling to make his hair presentable.

Bruce cleared his throat, "You must be hungry. Can I get you something?" He stood up from his chair and Gwen's hand fell back down on the bed. She leaned back against the pillows and smiled.

"Actually, I have the strongest craving for a vanilla milkshake. Think you could find me one and sneak it in here?" She winked at him and he snorted.

"You insult me, doubting my capabilities. Of course I can sneak a milkshake in here. You want anything else your highness?" He made a mock bow and Gwen crossed her arms.

"I want a burger."

"A _burger?_" The look on his face was priceless.

"Yes, with everything on it. And fries. "

"_Everything?_" His eyes were wide and he ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end. "You must have hit your head harder than I thought. Maybe you have some brain damage or something."

Gwen glared and crossed her arms. "What is so weird about me wanting a burger? I like them."

"But..." Bruce didn't seem to know what to say. "When you say everything what do you mean? I need specifics." He took out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket along with a pen and sat down, ready to write down what she wanted.

"I want _everything._ You know, buckets of bacon-"

Bruce waved a hand and cut her off. "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Buckets of bacon?"

"Yes, buckets."

"Isn't that unhealthy?" Bruce asked, scratching the side of his head.

"I'm already in the fucking hospital, whats a little cholesterol, fat and calories?"

He held up a hand to quiet her. "Alright, alright. So what else?"

Gwen tapped her chin. "I want cheese of course, lettuce, tomatoes, mushrooms and pickles. Extra pickles. That outta do it. Try to get me those cheesy bacon fries too if you can."

"What is it with you and bacon today?"

She shrugged. "Who doesn't like bacon?", was all she said and she refused to say anything else until Bruce finally gave in and left to get her heart-attack meal.


	6. Cuff Him and Book Him

**Chapter 6**

**'Cuff him and book him**

**Author's Note: **Sorry its been so long since I updated! Thanks to Kiss The Stars With Me for added my story to their favorites, alert, and for the review. :) I'm really glad you like my little story. Also, thanks to erica lynn rawr, eriklover101, KnowlingGirl, Silent Witch, Artemis1253, and Batattax for adding me to their alerts. KnowlingGirl: I'm really glad you like it, here's your update. SilentWitch: Glad you like it, sorry it took so long to update!Stephaniekay00: I'm so glad you think so. :) Your review made me smile. Here's the update you so desperately needed. Glad to oblige!

I'd love some more of those great reviews guys! Spread the word!

**Disclaimer:** All characters (except gwen) names, places and such belong to DC Comics.

It was noon on a Saturday in Gotham and the Joker was having trouble locating some property of his that had gone missing. The 'property' in question was Gwen. He had left her bleeding and unconscious on the purple carpet. A brown stain on the rug marked the place where her head had hit the floor. The question here was, where the fuck was his Gwenny? The Joker paced back and forth as he waited for some word from his goons. It had been two hours since he'd sent out the clowns to look for her and still there was no word.

With each quiet tick of the second hand on the clock the Joker grew more and more irritable. The TV was switched on to the Gotham News because it made him laugh to see how much he terrified the public. That's when he noticed that the current topic _wasn't_ him. This was strange because he was still very much at large and earlier that day he had blown up an apartment complex in the narrows. They were _always _talking about him. So, what the fuck was so goddamn important?

Joker sat down in front of the television and turned up the volume. "Well, _ah_, we'll just_a_ have to see what the _fucks _going on, around here." His tongue darted out to moisten his lips as he watched.

"...27 year old Gwendolyn Hartford was found beaten in the middle of the sidewalk today. A concerned passerby called 911 and she was taken to Gotham General. There are no leads as to who might have done this but Commissioner Gordon has promised to find the person responsible and bring them to justice. On side note-" The Joker whipped the TV remote at the screen, the glass shattered and the noise of the newscasts ceased. The Joker was angry and that was a never a good thing.

XxxJokerxXxGwenxXxBatmanxXxX

Gwen was so stuffed she felt like she was going to burst open and spew everything she had just eaten all over Bruce. She a few morsels of cheese off her fingertips and then leaned back to relax. She closed her eyes and felt a wet nap wiping at the corners of her mouth and then over her hand. Then something hot and wet followed it. She opened one eye to see Bruce brushing his lips across her hands. His eyes were closed tight and his hands gripped the bed hard.

"You really scared me."

"I did?" Gwen asked sleepily.

"Yes." Bruce kissed her knuckles. "You know, you almost died."

"Oh." Her eyes closed.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Mhmm. I'd be lost without you too babe." Gwen's words were slurred and she managed to open her eyes long enough to see Bruce hit the button to put a sedative in her IV. "Heeeey, whaaat aare youu-" Bruce pressed his lips against hers gently.

"I love you Gwen." He whispered against her skin. "But I have to go play superhero." But Gwen heard none of this. She was already asleep. Bruce stood up and tried to straighten his tie and clean up his appearance. After several minutes of licking his fingers and trying to get his hair to stay flat he gave up and decided to go home to take a shower. With one last lingering glance, he left the room and and continued on outside to where his Bentley was waiting for him.

"Where to Mr. Wayne?" The chauffeur asked.

"My penthouse please." Bruce said, rather woodenly while he settled in with a glass of bourbon.

"Everything all right sir?" The chauffeur asked as he started to pull away from the hospital.

"Fine and dandy-" Bruce didn't know what he was going to say next but he never got the opportunity to find out because suddenly there was the sound of an explosion. The car shook and flipped forward, tumbling over and over,crushing cars as it went. Bruce barely got a glimpse of flames engulfing Gotham General and experienced a moment of horror and heart-breaking loss at the sight of it before he toppled head over heels onto the floor of the car. As the car rolled Bruce found himself on the roof and the floor multiple times and he knew he was going to have scrapes, bruises and broken bones if he survived. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that he had just left Gwen alone to die. No doubt the Joker was behind this. For a moment his pain disappeared an a burst of righteous anger took his place. Bruce screamed with anguish, pain, frustration and most importantly, fury. As soon as the car stopped its rolling Bruce kicked open the passenger door and jumped out of the car, an explosion was imminent. He paused for a minute to check on the driver but found him already dead and so left him where he lay and ran, full throttle towards the wreckage of Gotham General. Firetrucks and firefighters were already on the scene, struggling to contain the blaze. He saw many survivors be wheeled into ambulances but he recognized none of them. He ran towards the building, still engulfed in flames but before he got anywhere close he felt a hand grip his shoulder tight. He spun around, ready to deck the offender in the face when he saw the kind eyes of Commissioner Jim Gordon.

"I'm afraid I can't let you go in there Mr. Wayne. The whole city would be crying for my resignation if I let the most powerful man in Gotham run recklessly into a fire and get himself killed."

"I have to get in there!" Bruce practically yelled, he held the Commissioner's shoulder's in a tight grip and it was all he could do to keep from shaking him. "I'm going in!" He yelled as he started to turn back toward the fire. But something cold and unyielding caught hold of his wrist and he heard a click. He turned back around. Jim Gordon was smiling.

"I'm afraid you just assaulted an officer of law Mr. Wayne, you'll have to come down to the station with me."

"Fuck! Are you kidding me sir?"

" Afraid not Mr. Wayne, although I do like the sound of 'sir' coming from the lips of the city's biggest playboy. Keep on with that stuff and maybe I won't book you and send you to county. I' sure there are plenty of guys that would love to get their hands on you."

"I'd like to see them try." Bruce gritted his teeth and said this in a voice that can only be described as 'batman voice.'


	7. Bad News

**Chapter 7**

Bruce paced back and forth in the limited space that was allotted to him in the cell. Gordon hadn't held to his threat of sending the pretty boy to county. Even he knew that it would be social suicide to do so. The media was already ripping him a new one for holding Bruce Wayne at the station, never mind what they would do if he was sent to a real jail cell to be eaten alive by the inmates. Bruce smirked but his mirth was short lived when he had a flashback to an hour or so earlier. The scent of burning flesh, gasoline and charcoal was caught in his nostrils. However, it was the gasoline smell that lingered most. Gasoline was a scent that seemed to follow one criminal mastermind in particular, and explosions were his forte, after all. The Joker. Bruce had expected something like this after his rival's well-publicized and dramatic escape from Arkham. Rumor had it, he had seduced one of the young interns, Harleen or Harley or something, he couldn't remember exactly, and she had in turn helped him to escape. God only knew where she was now, if she was even alive. He would have prayed for her if he believed in that bullshit or if he didn't already think she was beyond saving. And if the Joker had gotten his hands on her, she was.

Bruce's pacing turned faster and more crazed as his thoughts turned to Gwen. If she was dead, and there were few doubts that she wasn't, Joker was a dead man. There were no more games of cat and mouse. This would be the second person he had killed that Bruce cared about. (Not to mention the second time he'd blown up a hospital.) _For your sake, she better be fucking alive. _Bruce slammed a fist into the concrete bricks of the holding cell. He heard a crack and ignored it. His knuckles started to bleed but he ignored that too. All reason had escaped him. And of course, it was at this most opportune time that Gordon and his lackeys decided to shown their faces. Bruce gripped the bars of his cage tight in order to refrain from lashing out at the police commissioner.

"Well, hello there Mr. Wayne." He said this rather amiably, as though he hoped to make friends. But Bruce just grimaced and didn't respond. "My my, I was rather hoping you'd have cooled off by now. I guess I'll just have to get down to business then. You see, the real reason you're in here is because we need to have a nice long chat about your girlfriend, and I can't have you running off. Because, you see Mr. Wayne, I've hit a dead-end. I'm sorry it's come to this but I need answers. And I need them, now." Gordon smiled again, very genuine. "Now, if you could just calm down a bit and promise to be a good boy we can have you out of that cell and talk in my office, like civilized people." Bruce bit back a snarl. "But if not," Gordon continued, " I'm afraid you'll have to stay in there during our little 'discussion' and if you continue not to cooperate I might have to even keep you overnight."

Bruce weighed his options. The sooner he got out of here, the sooner he could find out about whether or not Gwen had made it through the explosion, and the sooner he could find the Joker and end him. "Fine. I'll do it." He croaked.

"I'm sorry?" Gordon cupped his hand to his ear and leaned forward. "You're gonna do what?"

Bruce cursed under his breath. "I'll behave and answer you r questions." He grumbled, childishly.

Gordon nodded to his men and they unlocked the cell, watching Bruce carefully as he stepped out. When he didn't make any sudden movements they stepped back and walked the opposite way down the hall. "Now, isn't that much better? Before we start our little interrogation lets stop at the break room for some coffee. I'm sure you could use a pick-me-up. I sure could."

The two men made there way down the hallway and then up the stairs to the precinct. Gordon made a sharp left into the break room, if it hadn't been for Bruce's quick reflexes he would have missed the turn.

The commissioner raised a bushy brow, "Ok there Mr. Wayne?" His amusement was poorly contained behind his sparkling blue eyes.

"I'm not sure I see the humor in this situation." Bruce said, gritting his teeth and balling his fists.

\ "Hey, hey," Gordon held up to hands in mock surrender. "Just trying to lighten the mood. No need to get testy."

_He's treating me like one of his children. _Bruce thought with a sudden pulse of rage. The urge to slam his fist down on the table but took a deep, shuddering breath instead. Once his temper was back in check he calmly poured himself a mug of steaming, black liquid. He sat down in the nearest chair and took a tentative sip, which he immediately regretted. He grimaced but forced the vile brew down. Casually, he set the mug down and pushed it aside. He cleared his throat. "So, what do you want to know about," He cleared his throat, "Gwen?"

Jim took a deep gulp of his own coffee before answering. "Well, you see Mr. Wayne, I really hate to be the one to break the news to you, but..." Here, the commissioner trailed off and took another sip of his coffee.

"But...what?" Bruce snarled, his teeth grinding together. He was trying to be pleasant but that was hard when your jaws were clenched together.

"It seems that your, uh, Gwen as you call her has been seen in the presence of the Joke-" Gordon was cut off as Bruce flung his chair aside and stood up.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S BEEN SEEN WITH HIM? HOW LONG AGO?" Bruce was panting heavily from all his bellowing, his fist were clenched tight and he leaned on the table for support. There was no fucking way that he would lose Gwen to that bastard. He already lost Rachel, but the Joker wouldn't get away with the same trick twice. When Bruce decided that Jim had remained silent for too long he started bellowing again. "Goddamn it man, answer me!"

Jim took another leisurely sip of his coffee. "Actually, this was several weeks ago. I've made a few inquiries and it seems that Gwendolyn Hartford is only an alias. The name on her birth certificate is Andrea Lawrey and she's wanted in several states for armed robbery, arson, and 1st degree murder. Now this may come as a shock I kn-" He didn't get to finish his train of though because he received a full throttle punch in the face from Bruce Wayne. The hit left his glasses askew and knocked him clean out of his chair.

"You're wrong." Bruce said, his face dark with anger. With that last word, he walked out of the police station and stepped into a black Ferrari. No police sirens followed him. They didn't dare.


End file.
